Friday April 29th, 2011 ~ Dan and I celebrate our 33rd royal wedding anniversary. That’s right Will and Kate stole our date! The least they could have done was invite us to the wedding of the century.
Every year in December Dan has the job of writing important dates on the next year’s calendar. Each year Dan writes our wedding anniversary date on the wrong date. When I heard the announcement of the upcoming royal wedding date my ears perked because that is our date. Due to the fact that Dan wrote the wrong date on the calendar he did not believe me when I told him the 29th is our date and the date Will and Kate chose. In fact I had to get our marriage license out of the safe and show it to him before he believed me. I am real confident he will never mess up our anniversary date again, because from now on the TV will be blasting the royal wedding anniversary; now that is if this marriage endures. Come on Will and Kate I am cheering you on to a lifelong commitment to marriage.
Unfortunately living together before marriage will increase your chance of divorce.
A study done by Bennett, Blan, and Bloom (American Sociological Review, 1988, Vol 53: 127-138) entitled, "Commitment and the Modern Union: Assessing the Link Between Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability."
The point made by the authors is that, overall, the risk of divorce after living together is 80% higher than the risk of divorce after not living together, which is already too high. In other words, those who live together before marriage are almost twice as likely to divorce than those who did not live together. But they also point out that the risk of divorce is even higher if you don't live together more than three years prior to marriage. The longer you live together prior to marriage, the less the risk of divorce until after 8 years of living together, when the risk of divorce is equal to those who have not lived together.[i]
What can we do as married couples to ensure a marriage for a lifetime?
The Bible says in 1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV) But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;
If we are called a royal priesthood seems to me that we should treat one another royally. How is this possible when two imperfect people live together? Rest assured whatever the Lord calls us to do He will enable us to fulfill, if we yield the right-a-way. Throughout scripture we are encouraged to deny ourselves and this is paramount when it comes to the marital union.
Our spouse is not our enemy; yet many times we treat them like the enemy. The Bible tells us how to treat our enemies; certainly our spouse should be given much better treatment than the enemy.
(Prov 16:7 NKJV) When a man's ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
(Prov 24:17 NKJV) Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles;
(Mat 5:44 NKJV) "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
(Luke 6:27 NKJV) "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
(Rom 12:20 NKJV) Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head."
We would do very well to follow the example of Jesus in John 13:5 (NKJV) After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. SERVE ONE ANOTHER
Think of something you could do today to bless and serve your spouse (even if they do not deserve it ~ remember about the enemy), then do it. Blessings and serving are contagious!
For more on: living together outside of marriage, sex, and honoring one another ~ check out the chapters ~ Honor Guards & Ours for the Keeping ~ Sex and Intimacy in the book WE PROMISE, to be released summer of 2011 at a bookstore near you.
For more on: living together outside of marriage, sex, and honoring one another ~ check out the chapters ~ Honor Guards & Ours for the Keeping ~ Sex and Intimacy in the book WE PROMISE, to be released summer of 2011 at a bookstore near you.
[i] http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5025b_qa.html
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