RETIRING THE BOXING GLOVES

RETIRING THE BOXING GLOVES

Have you ever felt like putting a pair of boxing gloves on and duke it out with your spouse?  I am sure we have all been there.  A truer statement would be; “duct tape their hands behind their back, duct tape their mouth shut, put on your gloves and have at it.  I certainly would not be an advocate of that type of behavior, although truth be told it has run across my mind more than once!  Why is that?

In James 4:1-3 (NKJV) it says:

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Our human nature is very self-centered, which is why the Bible encourages us to die to self and put others first. As we grow and mature in the Lord and in years, we learn the great necessity of dying to self. Unfortunately, even the most spiritually mature person will succumb to the flesh and need to apply conflict resolution to their marriage. We all deal with anger from time to time. Some people have learned to control this emotion; others let anger control them. Anger is a secondary emotion. There is always an underlying cause. We must choose as individuals to control anger and not let it control us. Because anger is internally created, it can be internally managed. The anger often stems from an unmet expectation that was unrealistic in nature. Anger in and of itself is not sin. How we express anger determines whether or not we sin.

According to Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV) it says, “‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” Couples must make a plan on how they are going to resolve issues in a mature manner that does not break down or destroy the other person. We must make ourselves adapt a calmer lifestyle. Many times a release of anger in outburst has nothing to do with why we are really angry. We take advantage of the opportunity to let off steam usually with the one we love, even if they had nothing to do with why we are really angry. We express anger toward this person because it is convenient, instead of dealing with our emotions and searching our hearts as to why we are upset or angry.

The first step in conflict resolution is to analyze ourselves. We all have physical signs in our bodies that take place when we start to become angry. Some of the physical characteristics a person may have are: sweaty hands or face, dry mouth, tension headache, nausea, heartburn, tight jaw, confusion, red face, uncontrolled chattering, and laughing inappropriately, to name a few. Do you recognize any of these in yourself? At the first sign of your physical indictor of anger, you must call for a time out. A time out is when both individuals agree to separate for a time of self-searching and analysis of your motives. This is a time to seek the Lord. Conflict resolution will only work if both individuals agree to apply it. If one person calls a time out and the other person is following them with an avalanche of words, this is not a time out…….

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV)

……….Endeavoring to resolve issues can be like the clashing of two cymbals together that are out of sync with the music. When cymbals are brought together at the appropriate time during a concert, they add a beautiful climax to the symphony being played; however, clash them at the wrong moment, and it can destroy the symphony. We have heard it said “it’s all in the timing,” and this is true when it comes to resolving conflict.

Many facets come into play when resolving conflict. Mastering two of the greatest principles of our faith will enable us not only to resolve conflict but also allow us to live in harmony. Repentance and forgiveness are paramount in our life if we want to be able to resolve conflict and establish good communication skills. Without repentance and forgiveness, there will be no lasting resolution to issues couples may face.

Today I encourage you to retire the boxing gloves and turn them in for; repentance, forgiveness and conflict resolution God’s way.  This blog was taken from excerpts of WE PROMISE ~ 18 Foundational Stones for an Unshakeable Marriage.  For detailed information on conflict resolution read the chapter entitled:  CLASHING CYMBALS.

LIONS AND TIGERS AND bear den! Oh My!

 

Michiganders have a fever right now.  The Lions and Tigers are on a winning streak.  Dan has been down in his bear den watching the big screen and hoping the games are aired on peasant vision (we do not have cable only rabbit ears, so we call that “peasant vision”).  I have been hearing noises drifting up the stairway, a little growling going on down there.  With all these games on TV lately, it has taken me back to my cheerleading days.  This also reminded me of what Dan encourages the young women to do, whenever we teach a pre-marriage class.

Any couple who has attended one of these classes has heard my husband say; “Ladies if you want a champion become his cheerleader, he needs you to be his biggest fan”. 

In marriage we have all been tempted or have fallen into ruts.  Those days where we go through the motions, taking life for granted and letting the “little foxes steal our grapes”, resulting in bitterness.  Despite of what we feel like doing we can always overcome these emotions that try to dictate us, push past them and choose a better way.  Once we have pushed past these emotions and acted rightly we will begin to reap the fruit of this labor of love.  People say; well he or she does not deserve it because they have been doing this or that.  (Please see disclaimer at the end of this article)

Ephesians 5:2(TMSG)
Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

Edification:  according to Webster means; to build, establish, instruct and improve especially in moral and religious knowledge, uplift, enlighten, inform, inspire, nurture.

Let’s take a look at a few verses and learn about edification from the Word of God.

Psalms 34:13-17(NKJV)
    Keep your tongue from evil,     And your lips from speaking deceit.
    Depart from evil and do good;     Seek peace and pursue it.
    The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,      And His ears are open to their cry.
    The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,     To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
    The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,      And delivers them out of all their troubles.

Romans 14:19(NKJV)
Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. 

Romans 15:2(NKJV)
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. 

Hebrews 3:13(NKJV)
but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 

1 Peter 3:9-17(NKJV)
not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 
For      “He who would love life     And see good days,     Let him refrain his tongue from evil,     And his lips from speaking deceit.
    Let him turn away from evil and do good;     Let him seek peace and pursue it.
    For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,     And His ears are open to their prayers;      But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? 
But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.”  
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; 
having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. 
For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

Let’s cheer our spouse on today, go ahead - go on a winning streak!

Please read this disclaimer, no amount of edification will work with abusers and where domestic violence is occurring.

Disclaimer: Domestic violence is a grave darkness. As many as one in four women are a victim of domestic violence.[i] These stats are the same for the churched as well as the un-churched. Submission principles as well as conflict resolution will not work in domestic violence. Safety is of the utmost importance. God never intended a woman to be covered with violence. Read Psalm 55 and Malachi 2:14-16. For more information on domestic violence visit: www.abigails.org and www.ndvh.org. If you are a victim of domestic violence, do not access these websites from your home computer.

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[i] Lynette J. Hoy, Safe Relationships, Women’s 10-Weeks Series, 2004. 5.

 

MAGICAL MARRIAGE MOMENT ~ SOS

THE SCENE:

You nicely fall asleep …then it hits.  Literally, sawing logs is in motion (snoring).  Three things cross your mind at this very moment.

1.    Take the pillow and beat your spouse with it.

2.    Leave the bed and go to the couch to sleep for the night.

3.    Fake snore as loudly as possible until your spouse wakes up.

This truly can be turned into a magically moment.

THE MOMENT:

Gently roll your spouse on their side, so they are facing away from you.  Put in earplugs, I personally have been using them for years.  Then cover your spouse in prayer.

SOS:  Sleep Over Snoring

Psalm 3:5 (NKJV)  I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustained me.

Psalm 4:8 (NKJV) I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 127:2 (NKJV) It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Proverbs 3:24 (NKJV) When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.

Isaiah 29:10 (NKJV) For the LORD has poured out on you The spirit of deep sleep, And has closed your eyes, namely, the prophets;  And He has covered your heads, namely, the seers.

Ecclesiastes 5:12 (NKJV) The sleep of a laboring man is sweet, Whether he eats little or much; But the abundance of the rich will not permit him to sleep.

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP IS...

A few days ago I was endeavoring to think of something cleaver to say for a book signing event that was advertised.  This event was to take place at Disciple Café and I had said; “The best part of waking up is Disciples Café coffee in your cup and reading your copy of WE PROMISE”.  For the next few hours the Lord began to speak to me about my heart.  Every morning I have the same ritual.  As soon as I get out of bed I go directly to the coffee pot and make coffee.  I will do nothing else for the next three minutes while I wait for the coffee to brew.  Then I will sit like a zombie and drink 1-2 cups of coffee while I wake up.  I have walked through this morning habit for at least the last 30 some years. 

The Lord began to impress upon my heart that drinking coffee as soon I get up had become a very important precedence in my life.  I then felt the sweet voice of the Lord say to me; the best part of waking up should be; Jesus fill my cup.  Reflecting upon this I realized I had put the Lord Jesus second and morning devotions were not the first most important part of my day, coffee was (and I long for the black stuff every morning).  I am now challenging myself.  When I get out of bed I will directly go to the Lord Jesus, His Word and spend time in prayer.  Well I have tried this now for two days unsuccessfully.  I would like to say I was wide eyed awake and bushy tailed, I was not and felt I could hardly focus my eyes.  So I reevaluated this issue.  If I am to make time with the Lord the most important step of a new day, I do need to comprehend what I am reading and not fall asleep while I am praying.  The heart is the issue for me.  I recognize just as I yearn for that cup of coffee I should be yearning a whole lot more for that intimate time with the Lord Jesus.  You see, I will have devotions but it is when I want to sit down for a break in my morning. Since being awake is a must in order for me to reap benefit from this time with the Lord then conditioning my heart is the critical link.   I will not give up, and I am excited to see what the Lord will do with this new change in my life!  I hope I will keep my part because the Lord will not fail to show me how this new devotion will impact my life.   Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me (PS. 51:10 NKJV). Who will join me?  Are you up to the challenge?  The Lord Jesus 1^st…coffee second, heart change a must.

Psalms 63:1(NKJV) O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.

Is. 26:9 (NKJV)  With my soul I have desired You in the night, Yes, by my spirit within me I will seek You early;  for when Your judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.    

 
2 Chron. 7:14 (NKJV) if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 
Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer made in this place. For now I have chosen and sanctified this house, that My name may be there forever; and My eyes and My heart will be there perpetually. 
As for you, if you walk before Me as your father David walked, and do according to all that I have commanded you, and if you keep My statutes and My judgments, then I will establish the throne of your kingdom, as I covenanted with David your father, saying, ‘You shall not fail to have a man as ruler in Israel.’

Ps. 84:10-12 (NKJV) For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.   I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Psalms 1:1(NKJV) Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper. The ungodly are not so, but are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.  For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME for some BASEBALL, HOT DOGS, APPLE PIE and CHEVROLET

~TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME ~

for some

BASEBALL, HOT DOGS, APPLE PIE & CHEVROLET

They call it America’s favorite pass-time ~ BASEBALL. Most of us at one time or another attended a major league game.  If we have not been to one in person we for sure have the TV blasting out a play by play of the game each season.  Tiger fans knew Ernie Harwell as their sports caster for over 42 years.  Some called him the voice of baseball.

He was known for his low-key delivery, southern accent (Detroit "Ti-guhs"), and conversational style. Some of his trademark phrases were:

·         "That one is long gone!" (His trademark home run call, with an emphasis on "long")

·         "He stood there like the house by the side of the road, and watched it go by." (After a called strikeout)

·         "Called out for excessive window shopping." (Also after a called strikeout)

·         "It's two for the price of one!" (After a double play)

·         "A fan from [insert a city] will be taking that ball home today." (When a fan would catch a foul ball)

·         "The Tigers need instant runs." (When the team was behind in the late innings)

Harwell would also begin the first spring training broadcast of each season with a reading from Song of Solomon 2:11-12 (KJV): "For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land."^[8]      

I would not call myself a baseball nut by any means, but I do however live with one so I am somewhat familiar with what the love for baseball is all about.

Add a winning season and the stadium will be sold out!  The enthusiasm for the game will go ballistic and the fans will look like they just came from a finger painting contest.  Did you know that up to 70,000 hot dogs are sold at one major league baseball game…now that’s a lot of dogs!!  But then again who could resist a hot dog when you’re watching a baseball game and have the fever.  Did you know major league baseball tickets go from $11.00 all the way up to $90.00 if you’re a Yankees fan.  I wonder how much a Yankee hot dog is. 

I am amazed at the devotion America has for sports.  The long drive in heavy traffic, waiting in line, over paying for food, jumping up and down, screaming at the top of your lungs and on the list could go.  Wait a minute.  I do love to have fun myself…I feel the same way about Disneyland.  There is however a point to this blog.

Recently it was called “back to church Sunday”.  What?  Why should there be a back to church Sunday…we should have never left!  Summer, church attendance in America drops.  Unfortunately most people who say they attend church on a regular basis only show up 1-2 times per month.  We have all heard the phrase, “you don’t have to go to church to believe in God”.  Seriously, how would I learn about baseball if I never went to a game?  And if I really wanted to know about the game I would start playing it, studying it and it would have precedence in my life.  I would eat, drink and sleep baseball (and some people do).

The Bible our manual for life does have direction for us.

Hebrews 10:23-25(NKJV)
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.  And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 
not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

Acts 2:42-44(NKJV)
And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.  Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles.  Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common,

Hebrews 3:12-14(NKJV)
Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God;  but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.  For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end, 

I would like to encourage you…let this be your back to Sunday Church week, for the rest of your life.  If you do not know of a good Bible believing church (because not all churches preach the truth of the Word of God), email me I will help find a church for you. 

Not all hot dogs are alike

Original Take Me Out To The Ballgame Song

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie & Chevrolet

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie & Chevrolet ~ because I married a Chevy man (Like A Rock)

NCCC Fall Quarter Letter

Today we received our fall quarterly letter from the NCCC.  Light Dawns Ministries is chartered under the NCCC.  I have attached this letter here because I felt it was very beneficial for anyone who ministers to others who are in need.  The approach is very Biblical and simple.  I have covered two sections simply because they apply to NCCC chartered ministries and did not pertain to anyone else.  If you click inside of the document it will get larger so you can actually read it clearly.  I hope it will be of benefit to you also as you serve the King!



"16" CANDLES

“16” CANDLES

Tuesday September 26^th, 1978 @ 10:19 pm, our baby girl made her grand entrance into this world!  Of course, unlike today we did not know she was a girl.  Dan like most men had hoped for a son and I wished that for him also, but once we set our eyes on Leah true love forever set in. 

Today when I woke up my heart seemed to be flooded with emotion.  The song, which was playing in my head, was “16 CANDLES.”  What is it about turning “16” that seems to be such a benchmark in life?  There is still a sweet innocence but a coming of age as one would say.  Your child is now old enough to drive a car, work and possibly date.  I can still remember Leah’s 16^th birthday party.  Leah’s sisters were “14” and “12” and I adored those ages leading up to “16.”  Our girls were so much fun, full of life and very family orientated.

I have noticed now with each special day we celebrate in regards to our daughters I become very weepy!  The reality that they are grown women resonates within my heart making it burst into the empty nest achy heart syndrome!  I will not see Leah today although I called and wished her a happy birthday, the business of life with her own family dictated that away, as it should take precedence over Dan and I.  Parents really do want their children to leave and cleave, those children must form their own families.  After all, we prepare our children while we raise them to one-day venture off and make a life of their own.

Sometimes I wish I could gather all my daughters back up and keep them under our roof where I could protect and shield them from all the harms and hurts of this world.  But then, who would take care of us as we grow old?  This same daughter that I am writing about says she has a plan in place for her Dad and me when we get old and it isn’t bringing us under her roof!  Can you imagine that!

I am reflecting upon my children and it makes me wonder what the Lord thinks about us as we pass from infants to mature believers.  I do know this…just as we want our children to grow and mature so they can handle this thing called life; the Lord also wants us as Christians to grow and mature and not stay infants.

(Heb 5:11-6:6 NIV)  We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn.  In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again.  You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.  But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.  Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.  And God permitting, we will do so.  It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

(Heb 10:19-25 NIV)  Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

BELIEVERS, IT IS TIME TO COME OF AGE ~ THE LORD WANTS US TO GRADUATE!!

(Psa 61:4 NIV)  I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah

16 CANDLES SONG ~ THE CRESTS